9 Rituals for Self Connection

Do you notice when you are disconnected from yourself?

It often shows up as agitation. If we are agitated, whether with others, life or ourselves, it usually means some space is needed to reconnect. There may be feelings that need to be acknowledged in order to feel relaxed and safe again. Or to understand the next best move. If we make big moves when we are disconnected from ourselves, these are often not aligned choices and will bring us back to the drawing board.

In order to move forward in your life with alignment, it’s important to be connected to your authentic self. There are rituals you can create that can help you connect. Anything can be made into a ritual if you give yourself permission to enjoy, connect with beauty, slow down and set the intention for it to nourish you. Here are some ideas of rituals of self connection.

The importance of setting intentions and practicing gratitude.

1. Intentions and Gratitude

We often value the big accomplishments. We hold ourselves hostage in between the big promotion or the amazing first date, the exciting vacation. But those are only fleeting moments in life. If we rely on those big moments to feel good, we are often giving ourselves a hard time in the in between. We have to learn how to appreciate the simplicities in our lives.

A good way to practice this is through cultivating a way to acknowledge what is going well and what we are looking forward to. At the beginning of the day you can ask: what are a couple of simple moments I am looking forward to today? For example, it could be going for a neighborhood walk and checking out the new jasmine blooms or making a yummy nourishing lunch. You may set an intention. An intention is a lens to experience everything through, not a goal to accomplish. Your intention may be “No matter what arises today, I have permission to slow down and feel relaxed”. When getting wound up, you come back to that lens.

At the end of the day asking yourself: what are 3 things that went well today? Could be: I enjoyed my coffee, I pet my dog, I stocked my fridge with good foods. Learn to cultivate gratitude for yourself, what has gone well and what is working in your life today. This brings us back to the moment.

Self reflection journal.

2. Journal

Writing is an amazing tool to connect with your unconscious. Try free writing for three pages back to back and don’t lift your pen. If you have to, just write “I have nothing else to say, I don’t know what to write”.

You may write about your day, about what you are feeling, what you fear, what you envision, affirmations that make you feel good. It doesn’t matter. When you don’t let your pen lift from the page, you aren’t giving the mind the chance to criticize, analyze or perfect. You are opening up the space for flow and to connect to what is going on with you in a deeper way. This can be a way to start your day and also set your intentions.

Somatic movement therapy.

3. Move your body

Disconnection manifests in your body in tension, emotional heaviness, pain, fatigue, jitteriness and more. Move your body with the intention of freeing up some of this energy.

An effective somatic way to quickly shift energy is to jump around or dance. You may shake, jump, dance your body facing each direction for one minute: north, east, south and west. Then lay down in a relaxed position and get ahold of your breath, breathing deeply and feeling the energy buzzing in your whole body. After that, you may move your spine in cat/cow for flexibility or any other stretch that feels good. This is a somatic way to break up stagnant energy and then ground through deep breathing and stillness.

This is one quick suggestion, but you may find moving energy works well for you through walking outside, dancing, lifting weights, rock climbing, bicycling, a yoga class, running, it’s learning what genuinely feels good for your body. Notice how your body may need something different day to day. Some days the energy may call for slow, gentle movement and others, more active. Learn to recognize what your body needs and follow that.

Daily meditation for self-love.

4. Meditate

There are many styles of meditation, you can play around with which you resonate with.

I’ve had meditation students confide in me, “I don’t love meditation like everyone else”. Or “I can’t stop my mind like you’re supposed to”. It may be helpful to approach meditation less like something to get right or love and more like an essential moment to slow down. Even think of it as something like brushing your teeth. It’s not necessarily a huge moment of joy, but your mouth feels cleaner afterwards.

In lowering the expectations, we can simply show up, set the timer and begin to quiet down. We are rushing through so much of life that slowing down is one of the most important keys to reconnection with self. A way to also make it more enjoyable is to create a beautiful space in which to meditate. It may be simply a corner of your room with an altar of elements you find beautiful - a candle, a rock from a beach vacation, a picture of yourself as a child feeling happy, a statue, a piece of art, flowers. Create beauty for yourself. Then breathe, focus on the sensations in your body and see what you discover in this space of slowing down.

Inner child healing exercises.

5. Affirmations for your Inner Child

When we feel disconnected from ourselves, we are often living out a pattern of ignoring the inner child’s needs.

When we were children, there were parts of ourselves that were unacceptable to our caregivers. Our caregivers came with their own history, trauma and limitations that made them reject aspects of who we were.  For example, your parent may have punished you and sent you to your room when you were angry. Now when you get angry, you ignore that part of yourself, suppress it or judge it. In this way, you have internalized this experience of rejection and abandonment. This is why inner child healing is so transformational for ourselves and our relationships.

In order for this to shift, you must give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. So when sitting with yourself, you can notice where in your body you may feel tension or the emotion you are experiencing. Perhaps you place a hand on this part of your body and you recite affirmations such as: “it’s okay to feel this way, you can feel this way as long as you need to, I am not going anywhere, it’s okay to feel this even though I don’t like it, I love you, it’s safe to feel this right now, you are safe with me.” As you connect with the inner child, you may notice there are other words that they are wishing you would say to them.

A simple question is, “what would give me permission to feel safe and relaxed right now?” Provide those words to your inner child with your hand gently placed on your body.

Somatic coaching for personal transformation.

6. Work with a Healing Modality

Whether it be with a therapist, somatic life coach or a type of healer, having a space to be heard from an unbiased party can be a rich space of self connection. When another person holds the space for you, you have the ability to explore aspects of your unconscious. There is incredible healing power to be witnessed in our deepest pain with another person and no judgement. This can helps us to redefine our inner self talk, shift into a loving relationship with our inner child, understand our patterns, regulate the nervous system through daily life and more.

If you work with someone online, make the space nice for yourself. Light a candle, pour some tea, put on cozy socks. If you are going to your sessions in person, you can also make a ritual of it. Perhaps visiting your favorite coffee place afterwards, walking through the nearby park, writing in your journal. It is a space you carve out to show your inner self how you are listening, honoring and valuing what it has to say.

Creative outlets for depression.

7. Create

If you’re feeling particularly depressed or stuck, the energy within you is wanting to be moved. We move stagnant energy through creativity. This may feel challenging since the inspiration isn’t there in stagnant moments.

We can make a space to let the creative energy start to move before we are inspired. That can manifest in many ways. You may set a 5-10 minute timer and write, a poem, free association, short story. You can look up a recipe with your favorite ingredient and cook a simple meal that takes only 30 minutes. Get out paints or charcoals and do a quick sketch. Find a song you love and record yourself singing it. Sign up for a class or learn something new you’ve always been curious about. Arrange flowers you picked on a walk in a beautiful vase. It doesn’t matter what you choose, but what does matter is that you are doing this for the sake of creativity. This is not with any demand of having some perfect finished project.

Step 1: Show up, Step 2: Dare yourself for it to be free and messy. This is a counterintuitive way to get out of our heads and into our flow. You may notice that once you start, the inspiration follows.

Sun impacts physical and mental health.

8. Get some Sunshine

It’s no secret that a large part of the population is deficient in Vitamin D and that low levels can contribute to depression. Especially if you spend a majority of your day at a desk inside, try and fit 15 minutes of unfiltered sunshine into your day. That may be with your coffee in the morning, walking your dog or any other relaxing activity. If you can get out into nature, that is a beautiful calibrater.

Benefits of a social media detox for mental health.

9. Social Media Detox

If you are noticing yourself spending a lot of time on social media and your intention is to reconnect with yourself, it may be time for a detox. You may take yourself off of social media for a week.

Notice when you reach for your phone out of habit and see if you can instead do any one of the rituals above. Write for 5 minutes, move your body, go make a delicious tea. You may notice what you are feeling in those moments that makes you reach for the phone. And practice being with these feelings, the discomfort of that agitation of wanting that instant dopamine hit from social media. If you have to use social media for your business, find a way to limit it only to that for that week.

All of these suggestions are meant as invitations and should not be more tasks you add to your to do list. We cannot connect to ourselves with meanness and tightness. So simply ask, “what makes me feel good, relaxed or free?” Learn to follow that. You deserve it.

If you’d like to explore deeper ways to connect to self and create your life, please feel free to book a free clarity call to see if my somatic life coaching can support your journey.